I arrived at the Phoenix Concert Theatre a touch too early, and woefully underfed. With back-to-back shows to attend, I had an 8 hour shift of writing notes, talking to fans nearby me, and no food in my belly to look forward to. Thankfully the Phoenix has a Burrito Guy (okay, he also makes Tacos and Quesadillas) and while moderately overpriced (it is venue food, after all) the damn burritos this man cooks up were big and delicious. Burrito Guy saved my day. I had lunch and dinner from him, and would not have been able to focus on the proceedings had he not been there. If you have been to the Phoenix, you’ve seen him slinging his food, next time try it.
Match 1: Brent Banks vs. Kevin Blackwood vs. Buxx Belmar vs. Scotty O’Shea vs. Sebastian Suave vs. Vaughn Vertigo
This match was a 6-Man Timed Entry Elimination Match. They didn’t explain the rules to the audience beforehand but it became readily apparent as they started with just Brent Banks and Scotty O’Shea in the ring, but Kingdom James, the manager of Sebastian Suave, came out and cut a promo and waited around at ringside for his man to come in. The big countdown clock also helped, once the next fellow was ten seconds away. I hate O’Shea’s ring gear more and more with every time I see him. Kingdom called it a wet suit. It does kinda look that way.
The match kicks off and Brent Banks makes a point of showing off how agile he is. He gets a gorgeous dropkick into the mix to take control of the flow of the match. The countdown pops up, sooner I think than anyone anticipated, and Vertigo hits the ring, taking quick control of the situation with his aerial stylings. The countdown pops up again and Buxx Belmar heads to the ring, somehow acting even weirder than before his injury put him out for years. Belmar takes down everyone, dropping them in a big dog pile in the middle of the ring, and does a splash on the pile. He then hits O’Shea and Vertigo with his very loudly proclaimed “Penis Attack!”, best described as a Shining Wizard face hump.Banks avoids being the victim of Belmar’s balls, and gains the advantage. The countdown timer pops up again and we are treated to the entrance of Sebastian Suave. Suave takes control of the ring and drops everyone. Suave ties O’Shea up but before he can eliminate the wet-suit wearing Hacker he eats a superkick from Brent Banks. That countdown timer comes up again and Kevin Blackwood storms down to the ring. He tries to clear out the competition, gets through most folk, bot O’Shea takes him down.
The match moves on and they go for the obligatory multi-man Tower of Doom spot out of the corner. I’m growing tired of this spot, it’s not fun anymore. Suave takes control of the fracas but eats a huge powerbomb from Banks. Everyone switches up, in and out of the ring, and in the chaos Buxx Belmar scores the first elimination on Vertigo, but can’t rejoice in his vioctory as Sebastian Suave wrecks him for the 3 as well. Four men left. Kingdom James announces a commercial break and some endorsement message plays on the “tron”, Suave stares at it and admires himself on the big screen. Usually these commercial break spots are a moment of rest for those in the ring, but Blackwood says “Fuck It!” and grabs Suave in a surprise pinning predicament to eliminate The Endorsement. Huge Pop from the crowd. Blackwood goes on a tear, hits O’Shea with a Yoshitonic for one, but he keeps going. Blacwood sneaks a roll up on Banks during the fracas for 3 count and gets a nice clean hit on on O’Shea for 2.5. O’Shea almost puts Blackwood away with a corner cannonball. Scotty O’Shea avoids multiple pinfall attempts and ends up getting the final three count out of a nice Gory Special into a slam.
Good opening match with lots of energy brought out of the crowd, good way to psyche us up for the two back to back shows. Post match Tarik beats down Blackwood for just being the new kid on the block. It feels like Tarik is in the Gatekeeper role in Smash, running new blood through the meat grinder to establish them and see if they stick. Should be a good feud between them.
Match 2: Well-Oiled Machines (Psycho Mike + Braxton Sutter) vs. Tabarnak De Team (Thomas Dubois + Mathieu St-Jacques)
The whole match starts with the Well-Oiled Machines oiling themselves up, followed by the crowd chanting for TDT to likewise oil up, so they take their flannel off and get their burly Quebecois selves nice and greasy. Of course, Psycho Mike and Braxton Sutter take this as an opportunity to jump them and beat down on them before the bell. but they make the terrible choice of gloating over their pre-match assault and wind up falling victim to an act of revenge. TDT stack Mike and Braxton on top of each other in the corner and brutalize them. TDT take control, tagging in and out, as they work over Psycho Mike. They just wreck him for a while.
The Well-Oiled Machines take control via shenanigans and Sutter lays into St-Jacques, beating him down but not securing the pinfall. Frequent tags keep the Machines in control until St-Jacques clears the opposition and gets the hot tag. Dubois is inand tosses Psycho Mike around, hitting huge moves. The Well-Oiled Machines spill out to the floor and Tabarnak De Team follow suit with stereo Tope Suicidas. The two teams brawl into the audience in what is easily becoming a trope at Smash shows. They work their way back, collectively, into the ring and when the opportunity presents itself St-Jacques hits a glorious Moonsault on Psycho Mike, but Sutter breaks up the pin. The Well-Oiled Machines next get Thomas Dubois into a pin, and he kicks out with both of them on top of him. St-Jacques comes in and DDTs both opponents. They go into a sequence where both teams tease their finishes but can’t follow through, TDT get the upper hand and slam Mike and Sutter into each other, then hit a Diving European Uppercut-Powerbomb combo for the win.
Amusingly, between matches they have to get some crew in to wipe down the ropes, as they were covered in oil from the previous four burly men.
Match 3: KC Spinelli vs. Vanessa Kraven
Vanessa Kraven is huge compared to KC Spinelli, and they play off of it, both for comedy and intensity. They start with comedy as KC tries to deal w/ the sheer size of Kraven, whom they introduced as “The Mountain“. It’s almost as if KC is stunned by the fact that a woman that large exists, standing across from her. Spinelli finds an oily patch of ropes, vocally drawing attention to it, and when the chance arrives she grinds Kraven’s face into the oily patch. Nevertheless, Kraven keeps derailing Spinelli with, needing just one hit to undue any amount of work Spinelli can do. Inevitably Kraven easily takes control with a series of damn thunderous chops. She gets to stomping on Spinelli, but they just look too fake and take me right out of the story they’ve been telling. Kraven makes up for her stomps with a pair of nice overhead belly-to-belly suplexes. The second one looks like it was a bad head dump. Brutal! She gets that corner cannonball everybody and their uncle is doing now and only keeps KC down for two. Both previous matches, and many more on this night, featured that exact same move. This one seemed kinda boring after the previous two, this one just didn’t stand out. Kraven wins with a Chokebomb.
Overall, this match wasn’t bad, but it did nothing to really excite me and felt poorly placed on the card.
Match 4: Kevin Bennett and Franky TM vs. the Super Smash Bros (Stu Grayson + Evil Uno)
Before the bell a brawl breaks out and all four men spill outside the ring, and then Bennet’s cronies get involved. The Super Smash Brothers are overwhelmed and Bennett’s cronies hold them in place as Franky goes for a big ol’ Tope Suicida, but Uno and Stu escape just in time for Franky to wreck Bennett’s thugs. Then they just brawl all over the venue. They head back up the ramp and it’s impossible for me to see exactly what is going on. Then all of a sudden people are flying down the ramp section and there’s just chaos.
The SSB get back in the ring, dragging a limp Bennett and Franky with them and finally the bell rings, the match can now start. They go for a pin, and almost get a win right out of the gate, but Bennett’s cronies break it up. The biggest guy out there, Bennett’s personal security, eats an absolutely brutal slam onto the apron from Stu Grayson. He’s just so heavy looking, the force that must have had… I certainly wouldn’t have gotten up after that.
Once the fracas ends it’s Franky and Uno in the ring, very evenly matched. Uno tags in Stu who flies through the air, right into the loving embrace of Franky TM, who drops him hard in a great slam. Bennett gets in with Stu, but can’t secure the three count when he has Grayson down. There’s miscommunication and Bennett winds up ganking Franky, but the SSB can’t get the 3 either.
Franky cleans house, but he goes after Bennett, looking to take out many months of frustration and being Bennett’s bitch. Bennett’s cronies yank him out of harm’s way and then Franky gets abused by the SSB. He eats a series of knees and super kicks while tied in the ropes and takes a running knee-piledriver combo for the SSB to win.
Match 5: Greed vs. Tyson Dux (c) – Smash Championship Title Match
Greed starts throwing down big hits right away, but Dux comes back and hits a huge corner Death Valley Driver. He only keeps greed down for two. The story of the match is technique versus brute force. There’s some even back and forth, each man laying furiously into the other. Grred keeps up well with the former Cruiserweight Classic competitor in Tyson Dux. They spill outside onto the floor. Greed gets the advantage, using his size and weight.
The crowd is oddly silent but they pep up when Dux gets to work suplex-ing and cutter-ing Greed. In the ensuing action there is one point where Dux’s pained expression is just priceless. I hope they got an angle on the camera that captures it for their streaming service. You gotta see it. Dux hits a big superplex on Greed, and transitions, turning the big man over into a Boston Crab right in the middle of the ring. Greed escapes and Dux tries to thwart him by going up top but the big man catches him and rams him to the turnbuckle. Again, it’s oddly quiet. Greed takes control and finally his his shirtless Bullfrog Splash (I coined that myself, at the show, get it? Because Greed is huge) but only gets two on Dux. The champ gets a huge brainbuster on Greed, only keeps him down for two. Dux picks him back up and gets another brainbuster for the final three count.
It was a good match but never really lit the crowd on fire. I’m surprised that ROH haven’t come knocking for Dux, considering the style he’s working these days and their dearth of talent.
Match 6: Tarik vs. Kyle O’Reilly
The crowd is on fire when O’Reilly makes his entrance. There’s some nice chain wrestling to start. They go back and forth with technical style and O’Reilly does his sunset flip-arm bar spot. O’Reilly is in control and he does the weirdest twisting takedown. O’Reilly grinds on Tarik, controlling the flow of the fight, but it gets messy on the apron and Tarik winds up in control. Tarik gets a nice Vertical Suplex in, but only gets a two count out of it. His frustration grows and Tarik’s well established wild side comes out, he chokes O’Reilly multiple times with the ring ropes. It spills outside for a moment, but it quickly gets back inside and Kyle gets to kicking Tarik, but Tarik reverses with a Disaster Kick and gets 2 on O’Reilly. Tarik goes for a mount on O’Reilly but gets a leg bar for his troubles. They do a strong style strike exchange, and it looks like Kyle’s in control but Tarik counters with a huge drop kick.
Tarik looks to be in control and goes for his Backpack Stunner but gets choked. They brawl and O’Reilly gets in his signature combo before going into a huge sequence that nets him multiple submissions on Tarik, but Tarik gets to the ropes. He keeps up beating on Tarik but winds up eating a comeback Backpack Stunner, getting a two count on the former Ring of Honor World Champion. They exchange a series of huge big boots, do a forearm back and forth spot, and then Kyle gets the upper hand and unloads with dozen knees on Tarik. A final flurry of moves sees O’Reilly choking, kicking, and brainbuster-ing Tarik, who kicks out at two. O’Reilly catches him mid kick out and locks on an armbar for the tap out.
Match 7: Michael Elgin vs. Zack Sabre Jr.
The crowd was hyped. They mix it up and play power versus technique to good results. They do a classic Greco-Roman knuckle lock test of strength spot, I haven’t seen one of those in a while. Made me smile. It was like comfort food for my wrestling soul. ZSJ goes to work on Elgin’s arm, binding him for days. I love the little touches Sabre does, grinding away at spots on Elgin’s arm with his elbow, bending his fingers back. For all the babyface treatment he gets, ZSJ is vicious and ruthless in the squared circle.
Elgin stops Sabre with a cutter, and uses his strength to put ZSJ down. They do the stalling suplex spot, full thirty seconds, each one punctuated by a chant. It gets elgin a two count. They go back and forth, do some strong man spots, and then ZSJ gets a great sweep and running PK for the two count. Elgin gets three German Suplexes on the Brit, but ZSJ dodges a lariat and ties Big Mike up. Elgin escapes and hits an Enzuigiri to try and take control but Sabre combos into a two count. Then they exchange strikes. Sabre kicks the crap outta Big Mike but eats a Falcon Arrow for his troubles. Sabre winds up getting a Jim Briggs Special on the top rope, but gets sunset bombed, hard. Somehow Sabre kicks out. Big Mike sells all the work ZSJ has done to his arm really well, and it was a bit of shame that he didn’t carried it over into the WCPW show, but the two don’t share continuity so there’d be no meaning behind it outside of for the audience members who attended both events back to back.
Big Mike gets out of submissions using power and the two brawl to the apron where Elgin hits a DVD. He then hits Sabre with an outside-to-inside Avalanche Falcon Arrow, gets two. Buckle Bomb and then Power Bomb and Sabre counters into a prawn hold. It’s followed by a lightning fast exchange between the two. it ends with Elgin hitting a Sit-Out Cricifix Powerbomb. He getsa two count and the crowd goes wild. Elgin goes for the Burning Hammer but Sabre flips out of it and gets a strong kick on Elgin. This leads into a flurry of action and Elgin gets the win with a sitout powerbomb.
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